A mixture of love with threats is the hallmark of an abusive relationship. If the god relationship was all threats and no love, the abuse would be obvious. The abusive spouse is mostly loving, but every so often says “I’ll kill you if you cheat on me.” Where is the unconditional love in, “If you disobey me I will damn you?” It’s hard to walk away from abusive relationships because they meet so many of our needs and wants, and because of fear that the abuser might come after you. The abuser is usually vocal with threats about harming you if you leave. The god of many Christians is no different; in fact it meets nearly every criterion for a psychological assessment of an abusive person. You are safe to walk away; many have done so and live happier lives, finding belief systems that satisfy their needs far better.
If you need a god, there are many less abusive gods than the one described by many who hold to the Bible, who was often made in the image of abusive men and tyrant kings by those who imagined what he would be like and wrote the scriptures. Know there are options; there are many fish in the sea of gods or not gods at all; you can live a happy and fulfilling spiritual life. The first step to getting free of abuse is to recognize it’s happening. In this case, the abusive may not be physical, but it is psychological, emotional, verbal, and spiritual. It takes a lot of courage to walk away. But you deserve better treatment. You are a human being, and that is magnificent. Stand up for your own dignity, and your right to be spiritual without being threatened.