Sex is central to spirituality because it’s the core of what makes life alive, and humanity human. Sex created life, not god. Sexual energy animates the whole universe. Religions have laid a false claim to sexual power by saying god created life; god claims to be what sex is. God can tell us what to do because he gave us birth. But sexual energy is free by its very nature. The creation of god is a perversion of sexual energy, a kind of anti-sexuality, a rebellion against what life is, and a power grab. Perhaps religion hates sex because it is afraid of its power. Sexual liberation is the power to be free from control, or to be “god.” By dominating sexual energy, religious rulers control and separate humans. Religion discourages sexual experimentation in all forms because it knows people leave religion when they freely express their humanity in this way. Sexual empowerment terrifies the religious, because sex teaches us that who we are, the way we were born, is more godlike and pure than any idea of a god taught by religion. The god of religion makes a false claim to rule reality, saying that he gave birth to the universe and he gives it life. If religion wanted people to be empowered, godlike, spiritual, it would liberate us sexually and rid us of sexual shame. But religion’s motives are clear: it seeks to dominate. In essence the creation of god is a claim to be the ruler of sexual energy.
Since the beginning of humanity, spiritualities and cultures have used sex for the purpose of encountering deeper reality and bringing people together. The practice and philosophy of Tantra, or sacred sexual spirituality, is all about experiencing and expressing love (spirituality) through encountering sex (which means encountering reality itself). Judeo-Christian religion has desecrated sex and stained Western humanity with a culture of shame about its own existence. This religion elevates the destruction of sexuality to the highest virtue. God himself destroys his own sexuality. God becomes a human in Jesus through a virgin birth so he is not stained by the sin of sex. In Jesus, god is a perfectly celibate, non-sexual human, and therefore the pinnacle of virtue that humanity is to aspire to.
The holiest Christians are commanded by Jesus in the bible to emasculate themselves for the kingdom of god–being un-sexual makes you better able to focus on spirituality (Matthew 19:10-12). The leaders of Christianity are considered holier and more spiritual if they have zero sex, since sex is ultimately a worldly, creaturely, distracting concern (1 Corinthians 7). Sex gets abolished in the afterlife, since it’s only necessary in the earth realm for reproduction (Mark 12:25). The religious preach against having sex, warning their adherents, calling sex temptation, warning that sex can cause people to lose faith in god and go to hell. Ironically, people leave religion through sexuality because sexuality helps them experience spirituality, something religion wants to keep tightly under its own control for its own purposes.
If we understand that we are life itself, sexual energy becomes our liberation from the desire to conquer our weaknesses through surrendering our power. You don’t need sin, guilt, or church anymore once you realize you are already free, powerful, loving, life-giving, and beautiful. We don’t need god or religion; we need to connect with love and life. We don’t need someone else to tell us what to do in order to be our best and highest, most moral and excellent selves. We don’t need god anymore, and that’s religion’s deepest fear. Sexuality is about something far more profound than fucking, although fucking is truly profound. It’s the understanding that we are life, and the full realization and embrace of all that we are and all that is. This is what we need to access our highest potential and godness.
Sex is sacred, and reclaiming sexuality will help us to recover spirituality as a society. Religion puts sex in a context of separation, since separation is the dominant conception religion has of the world itself. Sex is thought to separate us from god, and from each other, unless it takes place within the rigid confines of the religious construct. Religion tends to emphasize how sex can harm us, lead to disease, destruction of relationships, and spiritual denegation. It is possible for sex to be abused in all of these ways, but the heart of sexuality is unifying and life-giving. Sex in its proper and highest expression aligns us with our true nature. Sex is about feeling good about who we are, loving ourselves with abandonment to vulnerability, pleasure, mutuality. Sex can help us access mystical, transcendent states where we experience healing encounters with the natural, spiritual order and our true selves. It can help us face our fears and overcome our shame in relationship with other humans. It’s an act of radical acceptance, transformation, and love. Sex is ultimately about love and the creation of life.
People feel repression, self-hatred, body hatred and self-loathing when they give into religious teachings that keep them in sexual shame. If you are struggling with religious sexual-spiritual abuse, I encourage you to seek outlets for sexual healing and experimentation that will help you encounter spirituality and heal yourself in a healthy way. Religion wants to scare you by saying that if you let yourself go and have sex, you’ll go crazy and party and get STI’s. But through practices such as Tantra, you can deepen your spirituality and experience of love for yourself and others. Through sacred sexuality, you can encounter the divine.
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