I am transitioning from scarcity (survival) to having what I want (abundance). The hardest lesson for me is listening to my “No,” which I define as anything less than an enthusiastic yes. My brain is still accustomed to scarcity, so my feelings tell me I need to grasp any opportunity ASAP or I might miss out or be in a space of lack for who knows how long. When I follow my heart and actually say no to half-hearted desire, I find it challenging to live in that empty space of unfulfilled desire. My emotions automatically go to loneliness or low energy. I have noticed a tendency to search to fill that empty space, and to make my decisions based on empty space filling. These decisions aren’t real decisions; they’re reactions. What has helped me most is my pledge of allegiance to choosing and prioritizing my highest pleasure. Instead of seeking to fill a need or lack, which is scarcity-thinking, I consciously choose to engage in purpose and destiny. I have found this to be a more effective method than focusing on manifesting my desires with my thoughts (law of attraction), because I don’t get caught up in the waves of back-and-forth of my emotions. I do not react to want or loneliness; I follow my heart and inspiration by creating. Creation means I am coming out of a place of strength and alignment, rather than want, which is nothingness, powerlessness, and trauma. Creativity transcends trauma because it has nothing to do with it; therefore, it is a source of unshakeable power (really it is connection to “source” and “the higher self”–the most authentic version of me in connection with all that is). Creation is the god-inside-me in action (and outside me). For what we really mean by god is the miracle of creating something where there was nothing, life where there was non-existence, light where there was void. I still find myself doubting that if I say no, there will be yes opportunities. I dread that empty space sometimes. But when I follow my highest pleasure, when I choose to create, I lose track of my cravings. I don’t have the time or energy to get distracted by them, because I’m finding so much joy and delight. The cravings become side-benefits that sometimes happen and sometimes don’t–but really I’m no longer caught up in them, because my passion consumes my attention. I have a long way to go with believing in abundance, but scarcity reveals itself in more areas of my life, and it is constantly losing ground to the joy of optimistic expectation.

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