I am transitioning from scarcity (survival) to having what I want (abundance). The hardest lesson for me is listening to my “No,” which I define as anything less than an enthusiastic yes. My brain is still accustomed to scarcity, so my feelings tell me I need to grasp any opportunity ASAP or I might miss out or be in a space of lack for who knows how long. When I follow my heart and actually say no to half-hearted desire, I find it challenging to live in that empty space of unfulfilled desire. My emotions automatically go to loneliness or low energy. I have noticed a tendency to search to fill that empty space and to make my decisions based on empty space-filling. These decisions aren’t real decisions; they’re reactions. What has helped me most is my pledge of allegiance to choosing and prioritizing my highest pleasure. Instead of seeking to fill a need or lack, which is scarcity-thinking, I consciously choose to engage in purpose and destiny. I have found this to be a more effective method than focusing on manifesting my desires with my thoughts (law of attraction) because I don’t get caught up in the waves of back-and-forth of my emotions. I do not react to want or loneliness; I follow my heart and inspiration by creating. Creation means I am coming out of a place of strength and alignment, rather than want, which is nothingness, powerlessness, and trauma. Creativity transcends trauma because it has nothing to do with it; therefore, it is a source of unshakeable power (really it is connection to “source” and “the higher self”–the most authentic version of me in connection with all that is). Creation is the god-inside-me in action (and outside me). For what we really mean by god is the miracle of creating something where there was nothing, life where there was non-existence, light where there was void. I still find myself doubting that if I say no, there will be yes opportunities. I dread that empty space sometimes. But when I follow my highest pleasure, when I choose to create, I lose track of my cravings. I don’t have the time or energy to get distracted by them, because I’m finding so much joy and delight. The cravings become side-benefits that sometimes happen and sometimes don’t–but really I’m no longer caught up in them, because my passion consumes my attention. I have a long way to go with believing in abundance, but scarcity reveals itself in more areas of my life, and it is constantly losing ground to the joy of optimistic expectation.
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Do you feel psychologically traumatized by religion, or isolated and disempowered by trauma and limiting beliefs in your life? I’m Andrew Jasko, Master of Divinity (M.Div.), M.A., Counseling Psychology in progress, and I work to help you transform your trauma into the place of your power and connect to a healthy, authentic spirituality that works for you (whether that’s as a spiritual, atheist, religious, transitioning, or agnostic identifying person). I was born into a minister’s family and became a preacher and missionary to India, after studying theology at Wheaton College and Princeton Seminary. As a Christian, my relationship with God was my passion, but unhealthy religious teachings caused me an anxiety disorder, sexual repression, and spiritual disillusionment. I felt alone, traumatized, and abandoned by the divine. After an agonizing crisis of faith, I rejected religion and spirituality. Then, I had an unexpected spiritual awakening through mystical and spiritual practices like meditation, psychedelics, and connecting my heart’s desires and intuition through my Divine Mindfulness practice. My passion is to help you in your spiritual or life transition to heal and connect with your authentic spiritual wholeness.
BOOK ME TO SPEAK: firstname.lastname@example.org about healing religious trauma and psychology, spirituality and mental health, interpreting the Bible through a mystical, nondual lens, psychedelics, and other topics. I also provide consultations for therapists and ministers and speak on podcasts and video channels.